Where’s My Head At?

18 Dec

Good morning readers!

Yesterday was off to a more normal start and I was at work by 10AM. I got busy right away and didn’t really sit to eat breakfast until I realized I was starving at 11. Luckily, I came prepared.IMG_1495Before I left for work, I prepared some whipped banana oatmeal and tossed some blackberries on top at the end to warm them up. Awesome breakfast.

I worked straight through the afternoon and found myself starving around 130ish. I scarfed down a yogurt.IMG_1496From there, Hana came in for one last goodbye (and to drop off my frying pans). We kept it brief and simple, wished each other luck, and she was off to her last final. I then swung over to meet up with Kevin on campus and found out some interesting facts about the original Donkey Kong game and Mario.IMG_1729Back then, not only did Mario date someone other than Peach, her name also began with P but I can’t remember it, but the iconic hat he wears is due to the fact they could not animate hair for him. They also gave him the moustache because they couldn’t make a defined mouth so the moustache allowed us to be able to show the difference between his nose and mouth. Lastly, he wears suspenders because it was a way to make it easier to see his arms. Now you know where it all comes from!

After that I went home and rummaged through my fridge. It seems it’s not working as well as it should so a lot of stuff I was going to eat went bad. Luckily, I had some frozen vegetable lasagna I could eat.IMG_1497 IMG_1498It was pretty good! Not overly cheesy, which was awsome, and very filling. I was happy with it. I was still craving something to eat afterwards though so I snagged a Fiber One Brownie and had a glass of skim milk.IMG_1501 IMG_1502I then proceeded to pass out for about two hours. It. felt. awesome. When I woke up, Mariam was leaving for Egypt so I said my farewells and then on my own way out of the apartment, I spotted a very bright, very pink, and very fun looking PACKAGE!!! 

IMG_1503FINALLY!! My package from PVBody came!! It’s this great company I signed up for where every month you are billed $40 and every month they send you a fitness top and bottom! You first run through a style quiz so they can know your sizes, preferred color schemes, and styles of tops/bottoms you like. Here’s what was in mine! (A Cardio Queen)IMG_1504 IMG_1516 IMG_1519The shirt from 15Love retails at $59 while the pants from Electric Yoga retail at $78.

Reminder: I GOT BOTH FOR $40!!! Crazy. I tried them on and everything fit me really well and flattered me in all the right places. Great picks for me PVBody! I hope next months package has some more color, but my gray top will go great with the new shorts I just bought yesterday!

I was starving for dinner and luckily had some vegetables I could throw together. I was also craving a two ingredient pancake so I made one of those as well.IMG_1505 IMG_1507 IMG_1508 IMG_1509 IMG_1511 IMG_1512Chicken nuggets ended up being a great choice. The onions, tomatoes and yellow squash were also pretty good prepared together and gave me a meal pretty quickly. I enjoyed everything while watching Scrubs.

After eating dinner, I started to feel pretty down on myself. I’ve been exercising as normal and eating as normal, but have been feeling uncomfortable in my body once again. Starting to play that head game with myself where I don’t feel like I deserve to eat the food I am eating, that I’m not working for it enough. I’ve been trying to work on my posture and back strength, but so many things leave me feeling uncomfortable that it’s hard to feel like I’m doing “the right thing,” leaving me frustrated and annoyed. I started comparing myself to myself and thinking of all the times in the past I was happier with my body and how I felt in it. It was all in all a bad road to go down. Kevin offered to help me write some new strength goals down for re-motivation and had me do a mini workout so he could correct some of my movements and give me some confidence. Unfortunately, while I was happy to have his help, I was being a pretty whiny and miserable person. I was so frustrated with myself and my body for not being able to have these motions down and have it be so difficult for me. I went to bed still feeling the same way, but it’s hard to communicate it.

I understand I have to be patient and work the system more, but it’s just a hard day when you feel so foreign in your own body. I also don’t want to take this too far and go into unhealthy habits or behaviors. I need to be open about it and seek support out from others. Everyone has these days, it’s just a matter of what you do from there. On tap for today, I’m going to drop by the running store and see if they’re hiring and then do some circuit and strength work at the gym.

First things first though, I’m starving! Today is within my control and is an entirely new day. I want to start off on the right foot and try to work this mentality a little differently.

What mental games have you struggled with yourself?

Until next time,

Natasha

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